I put off writing the sequel to A Long and Crappy Post
because I didn’t want to listen to the albums.
I mean, look at them. Now that I
move in three days, it’s imperative I move these CDs somewhere. If not to the resale shop, then into my
permanent collection. Fine moving, you
win again, I’ll play the damn CDs. But,
since I’m pressed for time and mildly scared, I’m doing “5 minute reviews.” Basically, I listen to a song until I don’t
like it/get bored/etc., and then skip to the next or a random track. Although a CD usually takes multiple spins to
grow on me, or for me to appreciate the subtleties, most of these CDs are at
least 5 years old, and…well, I’m out of time, this is just what’s happening. I’m keeping four and giving one to someone
else, so I guess overall not a bad haul?
It was fun, but certainly not what I expected…
Gorephagia/Beautician
Split:
Gorephagia Side: Having heard this band, I knew what I was getting into. Low, burpy vocals, super powered snare sounds and guitars somewhere, deep down in the mix. Not complaining.
Songs played: All 6.
Gorephagia Side: Having heard this band, I knew what I was getting into. Low, burpy vocals, super powered snare sounds and guitars somewhere, deep down in the mix. Not complaining.
Songs played: All 6.
Beautician Side: Long samples? On a gore CD? Can’t say I’m surprised. One man drum machine band? Totally. This isn’t reinventing any wheels, especially for gore but there are a few really catchy riffs here and there. Plus, the song titles are still making me giggle. And some of the samples are hilarious.
Songs played: All 16.
Not that that’s a challenge when most of the songs are under a minute.
Luctus- Jaučiant Pabaigą Arti:
I was promised “groundshaking violent thrashing black metal.” Well, this delivers. The riffs combine thrash’s upbeat-ness with black metal’s speed and tone. There’s some interesting stuff here, although I’m still not sure what the “Lithuanian way” is. Although Metal-Archives tells me there are 134 bands from Lithuania, I have never heard of any of them. Maybe they need some better distribution. I’ve got this on as background music and it’s interesting enough to keep me awake without being TOO distracting, although I’ll occasionally forget what I’m doing because there’s a really cool riff. At times, some of the songs are a little same-y…but as a sucker for thrashing black-y bands, I forgive.
I was promised “groundshaking violent thrashing black metal.” Well, this delivers. The riffs combine thrash’s upbeat-ness with black metal’s speed and tone. There’s some interesting stuff here, although I’m still not sure what the “Lithuanian way” is. Although Metal-Archives tells me there are 134 bands from Lithuania, I have never heard of any of them. Maybe they need some better distribution. I’ve got this on as background music and it’s interesting enough to keep me awake without being TOO distracting, although I’ll occasionally forget what I’m doing because there’s a really cool riff. At times, some of the songs are a little same-y…but as a sucker for thrashing black-y bands, I forgive.
Songs Played: 1-8 out of 11. It’s not that I don’t like it, but I know
what I’m getting into and now it’s time to listen to the next album. Track 8, Lapkričio Speigas, is my favorite. I almost stopped at track 7.
Spitfire- Cult Fiction:
Oh, this fucking weird Twin Peaks-inspired, boudoir, dildo fest. Oh right, it’s supposed to be metalcore. I mean, I guess I could go for some sensual music, but whatever. Track 1: holy shit. Do you remember 2004-5? And generic metal core bands? With the vocals too high in the mix, totally loud and annoying? Do you also remember generic metalcore screamers? Well, now you know what this is. Do you remember clean singing about feelings? Do you remember how much worse it was when the singer couldn’t really sing well? The best thing about this is that it’s meta-tagged as “religious.” You wish.
I still am kicking myself that this was the album I wanted to listen to 3rd most. The packaging is so pretty and so strange. But it sounds like some generic blah my ex-boyfriend would have listened to in 2004 and thought was SO EDGY AND CHAOTIC. This might be perfect for Orlando, FL, come to think of it. We’re behind on all the trends. Or maybe people would un-ironically like this. Sometimes, I can't tell.
Spitfire- Cult Fiction:
Oh, this fucking weird Twin Peaks-inspired, boudoir, dildo fest. Oh right, it’s supposed to be metalcore. I mean, I guess I could go for some sensual music, but whatever. Track 1: holy shit. Do you remember 2004-5? And generic metal core bands? With the vocals too high in the mix, totally loud and annoying? Do you also remember generic metalcore screamers? Well, now you know what this is. Do you remember clean singing about feelings? Do you remember how much worse it was when the singer couldn’t really sing well? The best thing about this is that it’s meta-tagged as “religious.” You wish.
I still am kicking myself that this was the album I wanted to listen to 3rd most. The packaging is so pretty and so strange. But it sounds like some generic blah my ex-boyfriend would have listened to in 2004 and thought was SO EDGY AND CHAOTIC. This might be perfect for Orlando, FL, come to think of it. We’re behind on all the trends. Or maybe people would un-ironically like this. Sometimes, I can't tell.
Songs played: 1-2. I
skipped to track 11, “Meth Monster” because heh heh, drug reference. Yeah, I’ll pass. (16 tracks total).
Avsky- Mass Destruction:
Ah yes, I predicted straight black metal. It’s a lot less…aggressive than I expected. It’s black metal, but the riffing is really simplistic. The high, shriek-y vocals are the only things that, to me, really identify this as black metal. But maybe that’s just the first track? Oh, it’s not. For something entitled “Mass Destruction” with songs called “Like a Tumor That Has to be Removed” and “Mushroom Cloud,” I really thought the songwriting would be more pissed. It bothers me that it’s really simplistic, and not in a tremolo-fest, blast beating kind of way. I mean simplistic in a much less exciting way.
Avsky- Mass Destruction:
Ah yes, I predicted straight black metal. It’s a lot less…aggressive than I expected. It’s black metal, but the riffing is really simplistic. The high, shriek-y vocals are the only things that, to me, really identify this as black metal. But maybe that’s just the first track? Oh, it’s not. For something entitled “Mass Destruction” with songs called “Like a Tumor That Has to be Removed” and “Mushroom Cloud,” I really thought the songwriting would be more pissed. It bothers me that it’s really simplistic, and not in a tremolo-fest, blast beating kind of way. I mean simplistic in a much less exciting way.
At least the promo pictures in the album liner looks cool.
Songs played: 1, 3, 4 (of 9).
Meltdown- The Quietus:
Still cannot even fathom what kind of music this will be. Will it be sludge? Black metal? Groove? Oh shit, just noticed they cover Priest’s Metal Meltdown. Is that representative of their sound? Let’s find out together!
Instrumental intros, you’re just keeping me from figuring out what this is! I need to know! Alright, so Metal-Archives says these dudes are from Mexico and now reside in Spain, not that that seems to influence their music or song writing. MA also says this is “melodic death metal.” There’s certainly some melodic bits, but I don’t know that that genre tag is totally applicable. Track five is melodic enough, but in a way that’s equally…you know, I don’t even know. Is there another word for “genre defying” when it’s just a mix of things (and tones/trends/songwriting that went out of style around the time this came out, in 2008) and you’ve gone beyond caring about trying to pin it down? At least the liner looks cool and there’s a little nod to militant Satanism, if you’re into that.
Still cannot even fathom what kind of music this will be. Will it be sludge? Black metal? Groove? Oh shit, just noticed they cover Priest’s Metal Meltdown. Is that representative of their sound? Let’s find out together!
Instrumental intros, you’re just keeping me from figuring out what this is! I need to know! Alright, so Metal-Archives says these dudes are from Mexico and now reside in Spain, not that that seems to influence their music or song writing. MA also says this is “melodic death metal.” There’s certainly some melodic bits, but I don’t know that that genre tag is totally applicable. Track five is melodic enough, but in a way that’s equally…you know, I don’t even know. Is there another word for “genre defying” when it’s just a mix of things (and tones/trends/songwriting that went out of style around the time this came out, in 2008) and you’ve gone beyond caring about trying to pin it down? At least the liner looks cool and there’s a little nod to militant Satanism, if you’re into that.
Songs Played: 1, 2, 5, 6 (of 12). The end of track
five had a guitar lead that was interesting, so there’s that. I suppose this could appeal to a number of
people as it has a plethora of stuff going on.
I only listened to track six because I forgot to hit pause and went to
send an email. Take that how you will.
*I just finished listening to/writing about Methedras, below, and I just
realized I didn’t even play the Priest cover.
Oops. I’m not going back either.
Methedras- Katarsis:
My guess: kind of proggy death metal based on the album art. It takes a full 30 seconds into the track before anything interesting happens, but it’s more thrash than prog death. Kind of a bummer, because I went through a big prog death phase a few years back and there’s always some killer bass playing. Well, this isn’t that.
My guess: kind of proggy death metal based on the album art. It takes a full 30 seconds into the track before anything interesting happens, but it’s more thrash than prog death. Kind of a bummer, because I went through a big prog death phase a few years back and there’s always some killer bass playing. Well, this isn’t that.
As
it’s thrash, there’s some mandatory cool lead guitar runs. The singer’s pipes are decent and he holds a few
long screams. On track three, I’m pretty
sure the dude just did a Halford yell. I’m
ok with that.
Songs
Played:1-3 (of 10). I’ve
played three tracks in a row and I don’t hate it. I’ll keep this one.
Legions of War- Towards
Death:
I guessed these own-band-wearing shirt dudes played just generic…thrashy/black/death metal. Ok, so I figured it’d be about war, fast and generic. Well, the name makes me think of Hail of Bullets, so maybe it’s not all blah?
I guessed these own-band-wearing shirt dudes played just generic…thrashy/black/death metal. Ok, so I figured it’d be about war, fast and generic. Well, the name makes me think of Hail of Bullets, so maybe it’s not all blah?
What
do we have here? Sort of throat-y
screaming, fast drums and some worthwhile leads and riffs. Alright, so I was pretty much dead on. A little from column A, B and C, maybe less
death metal than black/thrash. But actually,
there are parts I like. It seems like
all these guys can actually play. And
write songs cooperatively. Sometimes the
drums shine, other times it’s the lead guitar.
I just caught myself nodding along.
I rated this #7 out of 10, but I like it more than Luctus, whom I gave a
pass on being same-y for their black/thrash tag. This is better, I think. But jeeeeze, change your shirts in promo
pics, dudes.
Songs
played: 1, 2, 3 (of 10) .I’m not going to listen to the whole album
because it’s late and I’m tired, but I will because so far, so good.. I dig it.
Pleasantly surprised!
Divine Muzak- Dialogue:
My guess: goth rock or White Stripes-esque rock. Potential to be weird and avant garde. ITunes says “electronia” but it also said Spitfire was religious, so forgive me iTunes, if I think you’re full of shit.
My guess: goth rock or White Stripes-esque rock. Potential to be weird and avant garde. ITunes says “electronia” but it also said Spitfire was religious, so forgive me iTunes, if I think you’re full of shit.
What
is this? A bunch of samples? This sounds like the castle music in Mario,
only darker. I guess people would be
into that. With weird robot vocals? Alllllright.
I googled this band and found an artist’s statement that claimed that “bringing in front the post-modern poetry
and the persuasive power of the voice.”
Well, alright then. It’s
haunting, I suppose. I guess I’d consider
it post-modern, although I’d never verbalize that thought.
I don’t know what
I was thinking when I clicked track 4, “Fantasy of Rape.” Weird electronic beats?! You win,
iTunes. I don’t even know how I feel
about this. It’s very atmospheric, dark
and haunting. It’s weird, definitely not
metal by any stretch. I just wonder
where Relapse got this and which murder-porn this is the soundtrack too. In my mind, it’s the soundtrack to Hostel 4:
Where People Get Chopped Up and Someone Practices Necrophilia.
Songs
Played: 1,
2, 4, 13 (out of 14). I’d listen to it
if it were the soundtrack to a movie I was watching, but I wouldn’t sit through
the whole CD. Maybe your weird,
experimental friends would like it.
Fimbul- Ramnens Ferd:
My guess: Low-fi black metal. It’s a comp- two EPs from 1995, and released in 07. It’s Norwegian and dated.
It’s certainly low-fi, but not as badly as I expected. It’s pretty much run-of-the-mill black metal. Super muddy production. Where the hell are the drums? Screams and buzzing. The thing that bothers me is that there’s some good stuff in there, somewhere. I can hear good nuggets of riffs. But overall it’s so…uninteresting that I don’t want to listen to it. I feel badly writing that, maybe because the cover picture is the dude staring me in the face, but shit man. I want to like it, to support some weird Norwegian BM cult shit as much as the next person, but you have to try too.
Songs played:1, 2, 3, 7 (out of 8).
My guess: Low-fi black metal. It’s a comp- two EPs from 1995, and released in 07. It’s Norwegian and dated.
It’s certainly low-fi, but not as badly as I expected. It’s pretty much run-of-the-mill black metal. Super muddy production. Where the hell are the drums? Screams and buzzing. The thing that bothers me is that there’s some good stuff in there, somewhere. I can hear good nuggets of riffs. But overall it’s so…uninteresting that I don’t want to listen to it. I feel badly writing that, maybe because the cover picture is the dude staring me in the face, but shit man. I want to like it, to support some weird Norwegian BM cult shit as much as the next person, but you have to try too.
Songs played:1, 2, 3, 7 (out of 8).
The Cutest Babyhead Ever-
Panoply:
I’m really glad to have reached the last album. Ah right, this gem. I predicted: Deadboy knockoff or totally weird shit. Hrm, I was pretty specific. Absolutely no metadata. Super.
I’m really glad to have reached the last album. Ah right, this gem. I predicted: Deadboy knockoff or totally weird shit. Hrm, I was pretty specific. Absolutely no metadata. Super.
I
don’t even know what to make of this. I
think the vocals attempt to sound chaotic, but the riffs/drums aren’t
particularly interesting. I can
understand the lyrics perfectly, and they remind me of a band I listened to in
high school that sang about their fee-fee(lings). Weird pretty instrument breaks. I guess I don’t “get it.” I don’t understand the song writing, the
weird effects, the little break downs or the emotions. I just looked up a rave review that mentions
how emotional the songs are, “emotions through dynamics.” That’s the most interesting thing about it so
far- it’s like a Jackson Pollack, but musically. Thinking of it that way, I dislike it a lot
less, but I doubt this will make its’ way into my collection.
Songs
Played: 1, 3,
5, 6 (of 6). If I turn it down really
low so it’s barely audible, it’s a nice soundscape for typing this up. Oh my god, biggest mistake. Track 6 is a bunch of little kids screaming “THE
CUTEST LITTLE BABYHEAD EVER” and it’s really weirding me out. I was considering keeping this CD for the
soundscape-y quality, but yeah, fuck that.
Overall:
CDs in Box: 10
CDs I’m keeping: 4 (Gorephagia/Beautician Split, Luctus, Methedras and Legions of War).
Stand out: Legions of War
Totally Not Metal CDs: 2
Bands I was way off the Mark About (Not counting the ones I cheated on): 2/11.
Relapse Releases: 0 (See also, bands I had heard of before).
Scale of how deceived I still feel on a scale of 1-10: 6.
CDs in Box: 10
CDs I’m keeping: 4 (Gorephagia/Beautician Split, Luctus, Methedras and Legions of War).
Stand out: Legions of War
Totally Not Metal CDs: 2
Bands I was way off the Mark About (Not counting the ones I cheated on): 2/11.
Relapse Releases: 0 (See also, bands I had heard of before).
Scale of how deceived I still feel on a scale of 1-10: 6.
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