The PitGoddess' Guide to Fest Going!

Stage view for Exodus, Wacken 2008

Alright, Maryland Deathfest is less than one week away, the Europe summer festival season is upon us.  Since my first taste of festival going in 2008, I’ve been addicted.  Festivals have been the cornerstones of my adult life and one of the places I’ve felt most at home, regardless of country I was actually in.  There's a sort of atmosphere and camaraderie that I can't explain, that I've never found anywhere else.  Is that cheesy?  Maybe.  I’ve been to six fests total, Wacken and Party San (both 2008, Germany), Hellfest (2011, France) and this year will make 4 Maryland Deathfests (2009, 2010, 2011 and 2012).  I might not have been to every fest in every country, but people always seem to ask me how I’ve done it, so I’ll share.

Some of it has been sheer luck and connections.  I went to Wacken/Party.San as part of a group.  I met my best friend in Italy and we took a special bus to Hellfest.  May I suggest now you make friends who live overseas? Meet them on tours, online, on trips of your own- it can really make the Euro-fest going a lot easier as an American.  Some of it, I have learned the hard way.  Some of it is common sense, even granny advice, but things to consider.  Most of this advice is only useful if you’re an American going overseas but some is just good advice.  Obviously, going overseas requires a much greater financial and planning commitment.  (Let me repeat: A MUCH GREATER FINANCIAL AND PLANNING COMMITMENT!) So, check it out- some of this overlaps a lot, but hear me out- there’s damn good reason.

Wacken Camper City, 2008

BEFORE YOU GO:

1. PLAN THAT SHIT.  If you’re staying in the states, you have much less choice in your metal going adventures, but there’s more now than even five years ago.  Research carefully!  Plan carefully.  Is it an open air? Do you need a tent? (More on this later)  Do you need a hotel reservation?  Do you need plane tickets?  How will you get from the airport to the fest?  Some festivals have busses or bus services that will drive people specifically to the fest from various hotels/city centers. Do you need a reservation for a bus?  Where else do you want to go before/after the fest? Can you go with a friend?  Can you meet a friend?  Do you want to go in a group? (This can lessen the cost, but one person in your group needs to be over 25 and drive a stick shift to rent a car.)  Are you comfortable with flying solo?  How much is the currency worth?  Do you need a visa?  Do you have a passport? Where can you park your car securely?  How much is it to park? Are there any sights you want to see?  How much time can you get off work and when?  Plan WELL IN ADVANCE how much this trip will cost (more on this later).

Look at the line up, see how many bands usually cancel and if replacements are usually scheduled.  For some reason, festivals in South America have more cancelled and un-replaced bands than fests in the US or Europe- I don’t know why it is, it just is.  Fests in the US may have last minute cancellations due to our crazy visa process (see: Lock Up, cancelling day of their MDF show and breaking the PitGoddess’ heart.  L).   Of all the fests I’ve been to, I’ve found it to be true that at least half of what makes a fest great is atmosphere.  You’ll meet so many people, see cool shit, buy cool shit, drink a lot.  Whatever fest you chose, make the best of it.

Pro Tip: BUY YOUR TICKETS EARLY.  It’s easier and cheaper to sell a ticket than to try to buy one at the last minute.  The week before Hellfest, tickets were going for 600+USD.  Some fests don’t do guest list/VIP spots- if you’re counting on one, don’t assume.  You might end up unable to get into the camp grounds and having to sneak into the loading area of the fest and relying on the generosity of your friends’ friends, your boyfriend’s band, a friend from back home and a promoter who is sick of arguing.  Not that I did that, ever.  If you want to go this route, you have to accept the possibility you might be outside all weekend.  Not just outside the stage area- outside the campground- away from the shower truck and even the Porta Pottys. 

Euro Pro Tip 1: Europe has tons of festivals, from Download, Wacken, Bloodstock, Tuska, NWN, Obscene Extreme, Hellfest, Party.San, Brutal Assault…all the way down to tiny festivals at public pools (there’s one in Portugal!).  Some fests are officially over (Hole in the Sky, Mountains of Death [RIP]) and some are on the same weekend.  Make sure your festival of choice is actually happening the year you intend to go.  You will most likely not like all of the bands, but you should like some.  Half of the fest is atmosphere, but some bands are a one in a lifetime kind of deal.

Euro Pro Tip 2: If you’re already going to be in Europe, plan a small sightseeing trip around the fest.  If you’re flying in and out of a major city, perhaps book a few days at a hostel, visit a friend, buy a bus ticket- something.  Intra-Euro airfare can be VERY cheap on discount airlines, maybe less than 50 EUR (plus the cost of a checked bag).  If not, you’re essentially spending what will be thousands of dollars and probably 12-24 hours of round trip travel on a weekend trip.  If you’re shelling out plane ticket money, might as well see some sights too!  (If not, you’re kind of a heel and I/people/I will laugh at you.)

ELEMENT OF RISK: Granny alert: Plan for extremes.  Look, you can skimp on planning.  You can be lazy with planning. THERE IS ALWAYS RISK IN TRAVELLING, FAILING TO PLAN WILL ADD EXPONENTIALLY TO THAT RISK. You can show up at an Open Air without a tent and hope to meet someone who is willing to put you up.  It can and does happen.  But you have to accept the possibility that you MAY be sleeping in a sleeping bag under an open sky.  It rains a lot in Northern Europe.  You can book a late flight and the last train/bus to the festival.  You can opt not to make a reservation.  However, if you’re delayed and show up late, the bus may be filled, you may miss it and essentially be screwed.  Some fests sell out 8 months in advance.  Sometimes busses sell out, some require a reservation.  Making some phone calls in advance can save a hell of a lot of trouble and panic.

MDF Bound, 2010

2. IT IS EXPENSIVE AS HELL.   Plane tickets, festival tickets, hotel, merch, food, beer, rental car, bus tickets, train tickets, etc.  Sometimes you can cut costs, and sometimes it’s not possible.  Plane tickets to Europe in June-July will be expensive no matter what.  There’s no way around it.  If you’re flexible, you can look into flying into different cities and taking busses.  Buy your ticket early to save money.  Plan a trip with friends.  Stay with a friends/friends. Book a hostel (some book up to a year in advance!)    

Be realistic.  If you aren’t the kind to hit people up for a tent to stay in or a hotel to crash in, just shell out the damn money.  If you're not ok sleeping outside/in a car/who knows, just pay the money.

You do need to eat and drink (beer AND water).  In the US, you can possibly walk to a store to get some food.  My favorite cheapie is the 7-11 two hot dog, chips and a drink combo.  Or the bodega across from MDF.  Some fests in Europe are literally in the middle of nowhere.  Maybe you can pack snacks to save on costs, but at some point, you will probably want to eat some tasty vendor food.  Luckily, it’s usually tasty and reasonably priced.  German fests are really good at this.  There may not be a lot of vegetarian options and fewer vegan options.  There may be nearby shops in walking distance, or the fest may offer a free bus service to a local market.

Merch money.  You may think you can live without merch, but limited edition stuff spread out over one square mile of JUST vendors.  Holy. Shit.  If you’re like me, you will want something.  You’ll want to look and touch and buy.  Take merch money, think of the exchange rate.   Also, plan where you're going to PUT that merch- some fests have daily locker rentals, or maybe you can run it up to your hotel.

Don’t spend your whole trip budget at the fest!  Just in case you pack WAY too much and need to pay a fee at the airport, in case you run out of gas, take a pay road, get way too hungry, need to use a public toilet, need to take a cab, or anything else you plan on doing AFTER the fest (including the airport!)  Keep some money just in case.  I know, shut up grandma.

Euro Pro Tip #3: You may want to shower, being outside in the sun/rain/shit river/mud all weekend.  Some open airs provide toilet/shower trucks and charge a flat fee for use the whole weekend.  Bring money for this.  Fests are filthy- it rains, the ground turns to mud, the urinal goop mixes with the mud.  Seriously, Wacken had a river of pee/mud.  

Euro Pro Tip #4:  Cash is your friend.  Before you go…BEFORE YOU GO, shop around for the best exchange rate.  Your bank will most likely have a better rate than at the airport, but the airport guarantees the rate.  Most vendors do not accept credit cards in the US or in Europe.  Not all banks have foreign currency all the time- call in advance.   

Using your CC overseas will cost you; usually a flat rate at an ATM and a percentage of every transaction.  Call your bank to find out if they have a partner where you will not be charged an ATM fee. If you are taking your credit card overseas (a good idea in case of emergency!) call your bank and tell them!  If not, your card may get put on hold.  (Mine got locked down for buying overseas plane tickets.)  Like I said, planning in advance can save you a lot of hassle later on.

I packed my bags! Hellfest, 2011

WHEN YOU PACK:

3. PACK ALL THE GEAR YOU NEED.   Check the weather, pack accordingly, but don’t over pack.  You need room to bring merch home.  Pack enough clothes for your trip, but don’t pack your whole damn closet.  Bring a jacket- you’ll thank me.  You might be walking a lot- Wacken’s campground was a few square miles; our walk just to the festival grounds was over a mile.  Pack for comfort.  Print out/download all your maps if you’re driving, the bus schedules, train schedules, street sign translations, reservations for planes/busses/trains, and that little flier the fest website will have that tells you the general rules.

Again, there’s an element of risk.  If you’re like me, and pack way too many pairs of shorts and not enough jeans and it rains the whole fucking time…well, you’ll be cold.   Yeah, I know you know.

Euro Pro Tip #5: I wish I knew this last year.  It rains a lot in Northern Europe.  If you’re doing an open air- bring a poncho.  You don’t have to wear it like a doofus, but you can lay it on the ground in the tent so rain doesn’t soak into your sleeping bag.  Waking up in 50 degree weather (in shorts and a tank top), in the middle of a field, in a soaking wet sleeping bag, is not how I wanted to spend any night ever, let alone the night before Hellfest.  If you're staying in a camper, then lucky you!  Open a window before you crash.

4. THE LITTLE SHIT.  After you’re done packing your shit, there’s all that other shit that you need- camera, phone, Kindle, chargers.  Whatever.  But then there’s the shit that (I) don’t think of until it’s too late.   Those stupid baby wipe things are great if you want to go without a shower.  Like I said earlier, sunscreen is a must for fair skinned people.  Those EmergenC packets of vitamins (you will get sick), Pepto Bismo (ugh, for those weak tummied people like myself). Condoms, if you’re doing the overseas hookup thing.  A snack is also a must for me, especially for a long flight or on a long bus ride.   This is maybe for sentimental people like me, but a pen and paper.  I’ve met SO many people at fests and always kicked myself if I didn’t get at least their name to look up on facebook.   Of the people’s whose names and numbers I did get, I have maintained many great friendships throughout the years.   Maybe you’ll just want to write down new bands, how much money you spent, or tasty food you ate.  Maybe you’ll be on a 12 hour plane flight and want to play tic-tac-toe with your non-English speaking seat partner.

If you’re doing the Europe thing you’ll need a handful of converters for electronics.  Numbers for American embassies are good too.  I don’t mean to sound paranoid, but if some shit goes down, you lose your passport, you break a leg, get horribly ill- you’ll want the embassies number. 

Euro Pro Tip #6: Wear a watch.  Your phone may not work in Europe, the battery may not last all four days (no chargers in the middle of nowhere!).  Wear a watch and print out a festival schedule in advance so you don’t miss the band you flew thousands of miles to see.  A watch with an alarm is best, although dorky. 

Euro Pro Tip #7: Fanny pack.  I KNOW.  I have fought the fanny pack, but I think I might concede the next trip.  All the Euros rock a fanny pack.  I’m serious.  Stop laughing.  You will want to carry your passport at all times (unless you have a locked space, like a car or camper, to leave it in).  You’ll want a discreet way to carry money, maybe your phone if it works.  Maybe you men have deep pockets on all your pants with zippers and magical carrying space or something, but if not, rock a fanny pack.

New Friends at MDF 2010.

WHEN YOU’RE THERE:

5. Etiquette.  Never be a fucking dick.  This is universal.  You’ll piss off the people around you, the people with you, potential friends.  Don’t cause a shit storm in a mosh pit, don’t kick, don’t push, don’t…just don’t be an asshole.   However, you will SEE a lot of dick.  Really.

Euro Pro Tip #8:  A little politeness goes a long way.  Shit is different in different countries.  Personal space might not be a thing.  People might not speak your language.  I always try to learn at least six phrases when travelling, in the appropriate language: please, thank you, excuse me, where’s the bathroom, No I don’t speak X, do you speak English? and I’d like a beer.  A little effort will get you a long way- especially if the people really don’t speak English.  Yeah, in Norway you’re probably fine, and in most major cities.  But remember, not all fests are in major cities.  Even if most of the festival goers speak English, the people you’re trying to ask for directions may not.  This seems to be true the further east you go.

Euro Pro Tip #9:   This goes along with not being a dick, but it’s especially true in Europe.  Some fests do not allow political discussion or the wearing of political paraphernalia.  This is especially true of “metalheads against racism” fests.  They ask you to not wear any kind of political shit, especially fascist/Nazi stuff, and not to discuss politics at all- right or left.  Of course, they can’t police it, but if someone reports you, you might be asked to leave.   Usually fest websites will have a pamphlet online that goes over basic rules.  Before you get all “I’m an AMERICAN, I’ll discuss whatever I want, wherever I want to,” let me tell you to shove it in your fucking piehole.  If you’re in a foreign country, play by their rules.  If you can’t handle that, overseas travel of any kind might not be for you.   This isn’t to say politics can’t be discussed in a conductive way- it can, but is a metal fest really where you want to discuss this shit?

This might be TOO much drinking.  Wacken 2008.

5.5 Don’t try.   This is an addendum, but really- don’t drink too much, don’t do weird drugs in strange places, don’t have unprotected sex.  Don’t try to stay awake and drink the whole time- you will get sicker than normal and you will crash at some inopportune time.  I know, I’m granny over here, but really- you want to have fun and party, who the fuck wants to puke in a Porta Potty or come home with STDS? If you're going to drink in excess/do drugs, take it easy the night before you fly/drive.

Laugh at passed out people who get shit put on them.  Hellfest 2011.

6. TRY.  This sounds stupid.  But really, there’s a lot that can go wrong in travelling in general- you get lost, you can’t speak the language, your favorite band cancels, it rains a lot.  If you’re at a fest, someone is at home and would KILL to be there.  Make the best of it.  If you lose your friends, make new ones.  If yours piss you off, take a break.  Don't create drama and don't be "that guy/girl."  Try new foods, drink new beers.  Laugh at the passed out guy who cute girls cover in grass.  (Totally happens).  Drink lots of water.  Really.  Wake up early, walk around.  See some sights if you're in a city.  If you're at an Open Air, go to metal breakfast, talk to people.  Make friends.  Sometimes they'll invite you over for a free beer or five!  Or give you neat shit.  Or just tell you a funny story.

While language barriers and chased by bums occurrences aren’t funny at the time, they translate into hilarious Larry David-esque stories later.  Come on, laugh at yourself and enjoy the ride. 

Enjoying the Ride.  Wacken 2008.

So that’s it.  That’s my rager Pitgoddess/ Granny advice. TL;DR: Plan in advance and save a lot of money.  If you want to skimp on planning and money, you have to accept the elements of risk involved.  Pack all the necessities and the extra shit you might need, like a poncho and electrical converters.  Respect the rules of the place you’re in, don’t be a dick and most of all, fucking enjoy.  Cheers!